This Country Needs Help

A couple of ragheads walk into a building and shoot up a Christmas party, and the liberal media calls them “misunderstood.”

A good, respectable white man burns down a mosque, and it’s a “hate crime.”

This man is not a “hate criminal.” He is a hero for burning down that mosque!  He is a warrior for freedom for trying to root out an occupying force in this country, chosen by God for a great destiny.

Oh Lord, forgive this country for they know not what they do!  Just as God commanded the children of Israel to make war on the Canaanites, the Midianites, the Philistines, and on the other uncivilized tribes that were squatting on the land promised to the twelve tribes, God calls upon us to rid our country of another group of barbarians: the Muslims.

Anyone who tells you that you can tolerate Muslims and be a God-fearing, Bible-believing conservative is not a real conservative.  I’m looking at every presidential candidate with the exception of Donald Trump, the only TRUE American running for office in these troubled times!  He called the Bible his favorite book and you can really see it in his policies!

When Trump is in office (and us militia boys all know he will be our president whether or not he wins the election if you get my drift), we’re going to scour this country clean of Muslims, of Black Lives Matter terrorists, potheads, atheist professors, homosexual pedophiles, and all the other liberal scum littering the landscape, and we’re going to turn America back into a decent place to live!  We’re going to make sure the laws change so we can legally burn down every Mosque, and when we do we’ll barbecue our pork ribs on the burning timbers while singing the Battle Hymn of the Republic!  God bless America!  United We Stand!


The Wise Man Builds His House On Sure Foundations

You know, I often find that the Bible is not just sound advice for our spiritual lives, but it’s also loaded with good common sense and if you believe with all your heart, God will use the Word to work miracles in your life.

When I had my house built, I made sure to have it constructed in the highest lot I could find.  I had prayed to God to show me where to build my house.  After I had prayed, I took my Bible, closed my eyes, and found a random verse with my index finger.

The verse I found was Matthew 7:25

“And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock.”

Of course, anyone who lives in the Lowcountry knows there ain’t diddly in the way of rocks big enough to build a house on, but I took this advice seriously and I did the next best thing.  I took it as a sign from God and I found the highest, most solid ground I could to build my house on.

What do you know?  I’m high and dry!  It sure beats living in a fume-ridden FEMA trailer.

I feel bad for all these people who lost their homes in the flood, but… maybe they should read their Bible more often.  God lives and He does perform miracles for those who believe!